A couple of poems that I found...7/19/09  / Sami McKinney-Rogers (Cousin & BF )
Sami Jo McKinney-Rogers (Cousin & BF )

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me
and I'm not here to see...
If the sun should rise and find your
eyes filled with tears for me
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today...
While thinking of the many things
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me
as much as I love you...
And each time you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
please try to understand...
That Jesus came and called my name
and took me by the hand
And said my place was ready
in heaven far above...
And that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.
So when tomorrow starts without me
don't think we're far apart...
For every time you think of me
I'm right here in your heart.


_________________________________________________

Don't Grieve For Me

Don't grieve for me
for now I'm free
I'm following the path
God laid for me.
I took His hand when
I heard His call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
to laugh to love to work or pray.
Tasks left undone
must stay that way
I found that peace at
the close of day.
If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
Perhaps my time has
seemed all too brief
Don't lenghten it now
with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts
and share with me
God wanted me now
He set me Free.

__________________________________________________

Cry Not My Friend


When you wake up tomorrow and I am no where to be found
When you scream out my name to the emptiness around
When every beat inside your heart is skipping and unsure
Cry not my friend for I am here inside your love so pure
When the waves that used to touch our feet have gone back out to sea
When everything you once held dear was lost when you lost me
When the sun that once lit up your face is setting far away
Cry not my Friend for time shall pass but my love for you will stay
When age arrives and children play and pain creeps up on you
When loved ones show you happiness that your life never knew
When all of your expectations are met no matter what the pain
Cry not my friend for I am waiting to hold you once again
When beauty in your eyes turn gray and all of the rainbow white
When strong undying hearts no longer feel an urge to fight
When winter snows become more pain than beauty in your heart
Cry not my friend for I am here and we will never ever part

__________________________________________________

Good Bye

I know my time has ended
Its time for me to leave.
I want you all to know
You mean so much to me.
Why I had to go
Was a mystery to me.
All I heard was God
Saying “ Please come home to me.”
So I left my friends and family
I didn’t say goodbye.
All I got to see
Were the tears in their eyes.
But as I saw them crying
I asked them not to grieve.
Knowing how much we care
That our love will never cease.
You can look up at the sky
And look over to the sea.
When you feel that gentle breeze
You always think of me.
When your time has come
To join me up above.
We will be reunited
And still we will have our love.
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Merry Christmas 12/25/08  / Sami (Cousin-in-law)
Merry Christmas Love. Miss u sooo much! Watch over everyone make sure they have a safe & relaxing christmas!! xoxo Close

Damn 4 yrs has gone by so fast. 12/10/08  / Sami Rogers (cousin)

Hey Love,

   Hows it going up there? Well I was shocked tonight turned out to be very small...just Teddy, Derek, Aunt Bonnie, Uncle Charles, Matt, Millett and myself, of course. But other people who called me had some good excusses why they were not there & others didnt. But I dont care, I am going to be going every year until I leave the state of FL. So Derek & I got to hold our godson "Joshua Devin Wilson (JD)" for the first time. It felt so good. We took pictures & of course I am going to put them on here. OMG, its been so crazy over this past year. So many things good has happen & some bad. But Derek & I kicked the people who had the MOST drama out of our lives last year. I dont need there bull crap. We are sooo much better without him. I have put my differences aside with 2 people and really we are ok friends now. I know we are never going to be best friends but I had to do it for Derek & John really. But its all good. Well my love, you know I miss you like crazy & I wish you & CJ were here with us but I know you guys are looking over us no matter what. I love you!!!!

 

xoxoxo Samantha

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A song that reminds me....  / Sami Rogers (Cousin)

***reminds me that I will never say "bye bye"..I love you Joshy Pooh***

MARIAH CAREY-BYE BYE

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings, and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [3x])
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [3x])
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus]

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You are an Uncle (again)...11/25/08  / Sami Rogers (Best friend )

Well Derek & I just got home from the hospital, we welcomed your nephew Joshua Devin Wilson into the world. It was heart breaking...we got there just as Gina was getting ready to start pushing & then we had to leave so Shauntara JJ Derek & I went down stairs to get something to eat. Well about 45mins-1 hr later, your mom called & said he is here! Then we got up there & she came out crying. I know it is soo hard for her to try & call another child Joshua, but she is strong & she will do it. I on the other hand will call him JD for a little while not used to calling anyone else Joshua yet. Well the baby looks just like Teddy, he is the most beautiful little boy. I could of stood there for hours just looking at him but Derek was tired. Please help your mom & dad just work through the baby situation. I know that you are honored to have him be named after you! I will always love him no matter what. I dont know maybe Derek & I will be the godparents, that would be nice. Well I love you. xoxoxoxoxox. watch over us & keeping watching over my little cousin CJ for me. I LOVE YOU BOTH VERY MUCH..

 

PS..by the way your mom is one HOT grandma (lol)..shes got 5 grandkids & she doesnt even look like she 30 yrs old. I love you Es & will always be here for you!

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HEY SWEETHEART 11/6/08  / SAMI (COUSIN/BEST FRIEND )

WOW! I CANNOT BELIEVE ITS BEEN OVER A MONTH SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN ON YOUR PAGE. I MEAN I LOOK AT IT OFTEN BUT I GET SO CHOKED UP WHEN I START TO WRITE THAT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. ANYWAYS, SO YOU ARE GOING TO BE ANOTHER UNCLE IN A COUPLE MORE WEEKS. YOU KNOW I AM SO PROUD OF TEDDY, HE REALLY HAS STEPPED UP TO BE SUCH A GREAT DAD FOR TYLER & NOW HE HAS SOME TRAINING FOR HIS NEW ONE THATS ONE THE WAY. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THE LITTLE ONE IS HERE. I CAN TELL HIM ALL ABOUT HIS UNCLE JOSH & UNCLE CJ AND HOW BRAVE THEY WERE. SO YOUR COUSIN (DEREK) GOT PROMOTED TO GTL. I AM REALLY EXCITED. IT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE HE SAID THAT ONCE HE BECOMES ASST GROCERY MANAGER WE ARE GOING TO START TALKING ABOUT HAVING BABIES, SO I THINK HE IS JUST HOPING TIME FLIES BY SO THAT WHEN THE NEXT ROI COMES OUT HE CAN TRY OUT OF ASST. GROCERY MANAGER. (LOL). YOU KNOW WHEN HIM & I HAD OUR LITTLE SCARE 1 YR AGO, I THINK WHEN THE TEST CAME BACK NEGATIVE (I THINK DEREK MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE UPSET)..I MEAN HE IS ALWAYS SAYING IF IT HAPPENS IT HAPPENS. HES READY TO BE A DADDY.BUT I WANT TO GIVE IT ANOTHER YR OR 2. ATLEAST GET PAST OUR 1 YR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY (LOL). WELL HUNNIE, I WOULD LOVE TO WRITE ABOUT THE WORLD, BUT I AM SO TIRED. I WILL BE BACK EITHER TOMORROW NIGHT OR SATURDAY MORNING TO TELL YOU SO MUCH MORE THATS GOING ON. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH KIDDO! XOXOXO MY LITTLE JOSHY POOH.

LOVE ALWAYS YOUR WIFEY, SAMANTHA

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10/4/08 / SAMI ROGERS (COUSIN/BEST FRIEND )
OK..SO ANOTHER YEAR GOES BY & YOU'RE NOT HERE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. I MISS YOU SO MUCH KID. YOU REALLY WERE/ARE MY GUY BEST FRIEND//SECOND HUBBIE...YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE. EVERYDAY I CRY JUST BECAUSE I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND WISH YOU WERE HERE WITH US. I HATE LOOKING AT YOUR MOM, DAD, JAY, SHAUNTARA, KRISTY, MELISSA,TEDDY, MY AUNT BONNIE,UNCLE CHARLES AND MATTMAN...AND SEE THE EMPTINESS INSIDE THEM BECAUSE YOU AND CJ ARE GONE. WE KNOW WE HAVE YOU GUYS AS OUR GUARDIAN ANGELS BUT I DONT NEED YOU TO BE THAT I HAVE PENTY OF OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS UP THERE THAT WERE OLDER WHEN THEY LEFT. I WANT YOU 2 DOWN HERE WITH US.I AM CRYING BECAUSE I WANT YOU HERE WITH ME. I MEAN DEREK & I HAVE EACH OTHER PLUS STEPH,JON,RYAN,DARJON,STEVIE, JACKIE,PAUL,ASHLIE AND THE REST OF THE GANG TO KEEP US FROM LOSING OUR HEADS. BUT WE WOULD RATHER HAVE YOU AND JOSHY HERE WITH US. YOU AND JOSH WERE MINE & DEREK'S LITTLE BROTHERS (BECAUSE OUR CRAZY AUNTS ALWAYS HAD US TOGETHERS :-) i LOVE YOU AUNT BONNIE & AUNT ESTHER) I KNOW DEREK & I ARE SO GREATFUL THAT THEY DID THAT. I STILL LOOK IN THE BACK SEAT OF MY CAR WAITING TO HEAR YOU AND JOSH TALKING CRAP ABOUT MY DRIVING AND THEN TELL ME "I LOVE YOU SA-MAN-THA"...IN YOUR CRAZY VOICES...I AM WANTING SO BAD TO HEAR THAT SAYING FROM YOU GUYS JUST ONE MORE TIME. MY DAD AND I WERE TALKING LAST SATURDAY ABOUT THE DAY YOU 2 DIED. MY DAD WAS ABOUT TO GET ARRESTED BECAUSE WE WOULD LEAVE THE MIDDLE OF THE CRIME SCENE. HE SAID "NO, THATS MY F**KING NEPHEW IN THERE AND HIS BEST FRIEND..I AM NOT LEAVING..YOU BETTER GET A LOT OF COPS TO HELP YOU GET ME TO GO AWAY". THEN FINALLY THEY JUST LET HIM STAND THERE. THAT WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE TELLING ALL THE PEOPLE THAT LOVED YOU AND CJ SO MUCH THAT YOU GUYS WERE GONE. I HATED DOING THAT. I AM THE ONE THAT HAD TO TELL YOUR MOM AND MY AUNT BONNIE. I HATED THAT DAY AND I HOPE THEY FORGIVE ME FOR HAVING TO TELL THEM THE BAD NEWS. I DIDNT WANT TO...BUT I KNOW IT WAS BETTER COMING FROM ME BECAUSE I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND/FAMILY MEMBER. LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO RYAN POPED IN A DVD FROM THE LAST EASTER WE HAD IN CLEWISTON AS A FAMILY..AND YOU WERE THERE, I WAS CRYING BECAUSE I REALLY LOVED HAVING YOU THERE AS PART AS OUR FAMILY AND YOU FIT IN SO WELL. IT WAS THE BEST HOLIDAY I HAVE EVER HAD.I LOVE YOU JOSHY. WELL I AM GOING TO GO. IF I KEEP WRITING ON HERE TODAY..I AM GOING TO FLOOD MY HOUSE OUT WITH TEARS BECAUSE I AM CRYING SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU BOTH VERY MUCH AND PLEASE WATCH OVER ALL OF US...XOXOXOXOXOXO Close

9/1/08 / Sami (Cousin)

Hey Josy my love,

 I know its been awhile since I wrote on here. I miss you guys so much. It feels like just yesterday you were giving me a kiss and telling me you loved me. Its still hard to get on here & write to you when I wish I could talk to you in person. Derek and I really miss you guys. You know I am finding out that I only have a couple of really good friends. The ones who no matter what the situation is, they are always there. Before you & CJ passed..Derek and I had both you & CJ..Which was very stranger to think that the love of my life & I were so much alike. Our Aunts (esther & bonnie) were always putting us together when we were babies (derek w/ you and me w/ cj)..making us grow up more as brothers/sister relationships then cousins. I mean of course we had our other cousins but Derek was closer with you and I was closer with CJ. After you passed away, Derek and I got closer...plus we had our families and closest friends to help us get through it. I think this year for your 4 yr anniversary I am going to have everyone get together and really show their love to your mom and Aunt Bonnie. I dont know how yet..But I will.....I love them both with all of my heart. They have both been there for me in the good & bad. Well I gotta go...I love you! xoxoxox

Sami

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Joshy my love 7/12/08  / Sami (wifey.best friend )
Hey Hubby #2,

So I know I have not written in a couple of weeks,but the whole stress of the wedding/honeymoon/back to work stuff really got me. The wedding was amazing everyone had fun/no one fought..just amazing. I hope you & cj like dance derek & i did with your moms in memory of you guys + the candle. you know i couldnt have my wedding & not include you guys some how.i hope you had a good time there. i wish you wuold of been there physically but i know you where there. Thank you for helping my Aunt Marlene hold out just a little longer then the wedding/honeymoon. Please take care of her up there with you. I want to also thank you for protecting me yesterday in my accident. well i dont know what else to say right now bc i am starting to cry again (like always)...i miss you tons. xoxox...love you!!!!

xoxoxo sami
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7/7/2008 / Sami (WIFEY)
HAPPY 22 BIRTHDAY MY LOVE....xoxoxox Close

crazi-ness / Heather (friend)
Hi hunni! so i havent been on here in 4ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i go on tha myspace...but i wanted to check this out...i rmeember when i used to go on her 5 times a day everday...crazi...but i see it looks like it did when i made it...with the baby blue...thats cute...god i wish we could stop time an jus go back to how it used to b back in the day...seems like those times were more fun...now were all gettin old an growing apart...but loos like u shld look out for the person 2 down from my message...seems like he needs it...even though he doesnt deserve it lol j/p but i love you an esther if u read this i love you and how r u? i hope all is well i havent talked to u in 4ever!! sorry...but josh ilu and ur bday is comin up!!! cjs is 2day...its crazi he wlda been 21...ok well i love u an miss u!! muuwwaahhhh xOxOxO Close

EVERYTHING 5/20/08  / Sami (Wifey.Best Friend )
Hey Joshy Pooh,

How is everything going up there in the wonderful world of perfect? I miss you so much down here. Everyday that goes by I talk about you in some conversation. As the wedding gets closer, I think about what you & CJ would of been doing if you were here with us. I know you would be there by my side. Everytime I think about you & CJ I think because you 2 were so big in mine & Derek's lives. Its just so hard to think you been gone for 3 1/2 years already. We are lighting a candle for you & Josh at the wedding. We've decided not to speak about it because I just realized the wedding is exactly in the middle of yours & CJ's birthdays..I know it will be a touchy situation with your mom, dad, Jay, Aunt Bonnie, Uncle Charles & some other family members. But you know that we will have you there some how. Im making ribbons to go around the girls flowers & ribbons that the boys are going to wear on their suit. Of course Im going to have pics of you 2 in my bra so that you are close to my heart (and my boobs..lol) I really wish you were to celebrate with us. I know you & CJ would of been so happy (you would have FINALLY been family) Well Joshy my love, give me the strength to get through everything that is going on. Well I love you...xoxox miss you tons!

Love Always Sami
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missin ya  / Paul Knite (freind)
hey lil homie wuz good mizz ya like crazy been goin threw alot lately as im sure u can see it seems ta get harder an harder everyday wish u were still here cause you were always there ta hold us all together just wish everything could go back ta back in the day.my b-day is next week an i really dont even care bout it theres no point noone to share it with..remember my b-day when i had first got out at ur moms house lol!!we had a blast just miss ya lil homie sorry i aint been on here in so long but im alwayz thinkin of you  CJ an lindsay hope an pray yall are taken care of eachother up there love ya Close

3/9/08 / Sami (Best friend )

Hey Kid

 How are you doing? I've been ok..I miss you tons. I know I dont come on here & write that much but I know you know I am thinking about you & missing you. You know on Valentines Day this past year I was thinking about you alot..Because I was thinking of the last time you took me out on Valentines Day because Derek was working. You know I really wish you were going to be here for mine & Derek's wedding..You & CJ would be the best present to have there at the wedding. You both were very big parts of mine & derek's lives before & after we met each other. I really hope you guys can be there in spirit & just let us know that you are there somehow. Well we love you...& miss you tons!

xoxoxo

Sami & Derek

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Hi babes 2/2/08  / Sami (Wifey)
Hey Sweetie just wanted to come by & say I miss you & love you! xoxox
Miss all the fun times we had. Please watch over all of us! xoxoxo Close

2008...1/1/08 / Sami (best friend-wifey )

Hey Joshy Pooh...i miss you!! (lol)
 Happy New Year kid...Today starts a new year for me...fresh & new...I have so many things that I have to do this year & my new years resolution is going to be the same as last year but this year i have some one to help me(lol) & im starting them today...anyways hope you & cj had a great party up there for new years,i just wish we could have the parties we used to have....just wanted to stop by & say hi....i love you kid....miss you tons!!
xoxox your wifey
sami jo

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RIP / Shauntara
So tomorrow will be the 10th of December and it will be three years that you have been gone from our lives. YOur presences still lingers with me and the more I think about you the more I die inside. My lost of you has givin me every emotion possible and tonight I just can't figure out how I really feel...This sucks..  I miss you bro. You are my heart and I will always morn for you. Rest in Peace untill we meet again. I'll be waiting for the day when I can come home to you. Xoxoxox


Much love,
YOur Favorite person;) Close

11/19/07 / SAMI (WIFEY)

I LOVE YOU HUBBY!!!

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DEAR JOSHUA,  / ROSE GRMA TO ANGEL BRITTANY SYFERT

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09/30/07 / Sami (Wifey)
Hey Hubby
   So to keep you updated..4 days until my 21st birthday..i really wish you & cj could be there...& less than 9 months until the wedding..I've been missing you guys so much..I just dont wanna show anyone that Imso down about my 21st birthday & the wedding bc you guys arent going to be there to celebrate with us...but anyways there has been so much drama going on in the last couple of months.But hopefully we got rid of it by getting rid of some people in our lives now..I miss you so much I love you...Watch over all why we go through our daily lives of trying to coupe with your's & cj's memories..g2g..xoxox Close